Rory's week - Rory Bremner plays cricket with Johnny Cash

Blair tells us: "The House of Lords appointments commission is given information, where relevant, about political donations." How about that "where relevant" for a piece of legalistic deception? Wonders Rory Bremner

Much has been made of Tony Blair's "admission" that it was a "mistake" to announce his intention to step down before the next election. Speculation divides as to whether he meant it was a mistake to contemplate early retirement or merely an error to have told the press. I don't necessarily agree with either interpretation. I have an idea it might be one of those moments of petulance that occasionally escape from behind the prime ministerial façade of self-control; what he meant was: "I decided to answer a question. Maybe that was a mistake." (Translation: "Maybe you'd rather I didn't answer questions at all. Maybe you'd prefer it if I avoided the question altogether. Or gave an answer to an entirely different question. Or just said the first thing that came into my head." All of which, we might reasonably object, he does anyway.) But eight years of being prime minister, plus a 19-hour flight to Australia, can give rise to testiness. I remember John Major's tart response to criticism that he failed to protect the Kurds from Saddam's fury after Operation Desert Storm. "I do not recall asking the Kurds to mount this particular insurrection," he bristled, disingenuously.

As it is, with the full benefit of hindsight, Blair may feel it was a mistake that he answered a couple of parliamentary questions about the honours system earlier in this session - or at least that he gave the answers that he did. In January, the indefatigable Norman Baker asked Blair "whether he plans to a) review and b) reform the Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act 1925". Blair's reply was: "No." (Not surprisingly, as we have discovered. And interestingly, in the light of his current zeal to improve the system.)

Even more interesting is Blair's reply to a question from Gordon Prentice last November, asking the Prime Minister - get this - "what account he takes of the record of donation to political parties of persons he is minded to recommend for elevation to the peerage; and if he will make a statement". Blair repeated his mantra that "the fact of having made a political donation should not in itself [sic] exclude the appointment to a peerage where the candidate's experience or achievements justify one", adding, "The House of Lords appointments commission, who carry out the scrutiny of candidates, is given information [sic], where relevant, about political donations." How about that "where relevant" for a piece of legalistic deception? Bill Clinton would be proud of him. "I did not receive a donation from that nominee, Chai Patel."

I was pleased to hear that the England cricket side which defeated India in Mumbai last week had been inspired by the music of Johnny Cash. As any bookmaker will tell you, cash is not a quantity unknown to Indian cricket, but until now few people have given due credit to the American legend's deep understanding of other aspects of the game. "Ring of Fire" refers, of course, to the circle of close fielders that crowds the batsman early in his innings, and it is just one of the Cash hits that reflect his cricketing acumen. "Wall", for example, refers to the batting technique of the Indian captain, Rahul Dravid, and "The Man Comes Around" inspired Freddie Flintoff to make the change in bowling approach that claimed the vital wicket of Yuvraj Singh. For the other bowlers, "Get Rhythm" has always been a sine qua non; and even England's occasionally fallible wicket-keeper Geraint Jones features, in "I Still Miss Someone".

The resignation of Rod Aldridge from his chairmanship of Capita to avoid any suggestion of a link between his £1m loan to Tony Blair and his company's continuing favoured status with the government fascinates me. "He obviously wasn't doing anything improper," runs the argument. "Why do you think he resigned?" The implication being that it's the ones who don't resign that you need to watch. I see a parallel with the key David Mills/Tessa Jowell moment, in which Aldridge sits his company down and says: "Look, darling, I'm sorry to have embarrassed you. Maybe it's right that we have a trial separation." It only remains to be seen who walks away with more loot: Mills with his offshore trusts or Aldridge with his compensation package.

Rory Bremner

Bremner, Bird and Fortune continues on Channel 4 on Saturdays at 8.10 pm

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