Society
Urban life - Darcus Howe dumps and icon
Published 16 January 2006
For me, the red postbox is one icon of Englishness we could do without. Let's scrap the lot
What is the point of the government campaign asking us to nominate our favourite icon that embodies the essence of Englishness? Examples range from a cup of tea to the King James Bible, from the Spitfire to the SS Empire Windrush. We are each asked to add one of our favourites to these. The culture minister, David Lammy, has suggested the red telephone box, and this prompts me to make my own nomination, though mine is not of a favourite icon of Englishness, but of a favourite hate: the red postbox.
Just outside my front door stands this red and black lump of metal on which passing dogs cock a leg. It reminds me of the winter of 1962, when we were blinded by smog. I was a postman. One of my tasks during the afternoon shift would take me to postboxes in London EC4, whose contents I would transfer into canvas bags before loading them on to the van in which I was travelling.
Startled by the horn from a lorry driver, I slipped and fell on the icy pavement, skating on my backside to land just inches away from the lorry's back wheel. Her Majesty's mail was scattered all over the road and pavement.
From then till now I can't bear the sight of postboxes, which I consider to be a health hazard to postmen, to the visually impaired, to the old and infirm who must negotiate them as they drift along our pavements. Get rid of them, I say.
I also dislike being asked to bow in respect to the cup of tea. I once met an Englishwoman in New Delhi who seemed to have little time for India or Indians. She had brought with her bags of tea which she boasted she had purchased at Marks & Spencer. She was determined that nothing Indian would touch her lips. She spoke of two brands, Assam and Darjeeling. "Did you know that your tea was grown and refined just around the corner?" She gasped at what she considered to be a statement from an ignorant Negro. A habit picked up on an imperial journey is transformed by government pen into an icon of Englishness.
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