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Competition No 3897

Set by George Cowley, 29 August

"I think we are all secretly polygamous," wrote Julia Hobsbawm in the NS. We asked to hear from a political polygamist.

Report by Ms de Meaner

Well done. No room. £20 each to the winners, the best of whom (J Seery) also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Polygamist: . . . then I joined the Lib Dems.

Therapist: I see. When did you lose faith with new Labour?

Polygamist: I felt Tony didn't love me any more and Gordon couldn't care less. I even felt an urge to join Respect.

Therapist: You were that low?

Polygamist: It passed; but I did go to a Tory

meeting addressed by David Cameron.

Therapist: Well?

Polygamist: I was seduced. His ideas are exactly the same as Tony's ten years ago. But then I became infatuated with the SNP. Strong brand, left-of-centre, committed to Scottish independence.

Therapist: Are you Scottish?

Polygamist: No, Welsh; well, half-Irish, too. Yes, I did flirt with the DUP and the Reverend Ian . . .

Therapist: Paisley!

Polygamist: It passed. I'm now a member of the Lib Dems again. But now that Ken Clarke's looking strong, I'm thinking . . .

John O'Byrne

Allegiance to all! For too long now coalition has been the government that dare not speak its name. The predilection for "one man, one vote" has clearly taken us nowhere. Archaic suspicion of alternative approaches to unions has made us beholden to the past. Understandably, not everyone is totally wedded to the concept of mixed-ideology voting, despite numerous espousals to the contrary. The very need to be fully engaged at all levels drives the intrinsic requirement to divorce ourselves from emotive issues and consider seriously the enablers that decouple individualism from everyday life and extend family values to their logical conclusion; the honeymoon period is far from over; in point of fact, it need never end. I have been to the misogynist; I have seen the promised land! I have a harem!

John Griffiths-Colby

Now I've supported Labour all my life, except for when I've voted Conservative or Lib Dem. On the psephology database, I suppose I'm an FV (floating voter), socio-economic status C1, and we in the floating community get a bad press - no principles and so on. But let's face it, if you're a diehard one-party person and you're not floating, logically where does that leave you? Not floating, but drowning.

That's why I prefer to call myself a BV (buoyant voter), bobbing about on the waters of political change. Ideology? Forget it. Serial switching, that's the ticket. Keep the politicos on their toes. A spot of doorstep flirtation with a canvasser does no harm, but don't let them near the bedroom. Tory, Lab, Lib Dem, I love 'em all at times. That's why I always put a kiss on the ballot paper for each candidate.

Derek Morgan

Look, I'm polygamous, not promiscuous. More than three party relationships at a time is too difficult to handle. I have to get to know the party fairly well first and I certainly couldn't do it unless I loved them.

The number of times I've had to say: "Look,

I'm not impressed by the length of your manifesto," or "Look, I'm just not that sort of activist!" Yes, I am experienced. Yes, I've supported around a bit. But then all parties are basically the same. They're interested in only one thing and once they've got that, they lose interest. With an election coming up, they're all over you. Once that's over, they go to sleep again. They all whisper sweet nonsense in your ear: "We'll cut taxes and improve public services" or "We'll curb immigration and get the grotty jobs done in London for an hourly rate of less than the price of a cappuccino." I've heard them all. Why don't I just give it up? I can't. I'm a fun-loving party girl.

J Seery

No 3900 Set by Didier d'Argent

You're hanging out with the great writers, maybe thinking of a dinner party. You invite two or three favourites round to your place. I want your own dialogue/contributions to be included!

Max 150 words by 29 September. E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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