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Competition No 3842

Set by John Crick, 26 July

We asked you to start practising early to create a circular response that would do for every one of those dreadful circular family newsletters which arrive at Xmas.

Report by Ms de Meaner

Excellent. I may utilise certain aspects of these for myself! Hon menshes to Katie Mallett, Lisbeth Rake, R J Pickles and Susan Therkelsen. £20 to the winners, the best of whom (D A Prince) also gets those coveted Tesco vouchers.

Dear Clan:- Yes, we agree, another year has flown. Two thousand and four was

indeed a busy year, what with engagements/

weddings/births/divorces/deaths/house moves/exams/business start-ups/failures/ golf tournaments/parties/elections/ holidays/redundancies/break-ups/ pensions/fighting the flab/Euro 2004. Lots of ups and downs, but best to look on the bright side. Remember: always smiling, always giving, always there. So let this be our official THANK YOU for making everything a huge success. "Sensations sweet, felt in the blood, and felt along the heart." And, of course, not forgetting the camaraderie we always experience when we're together. As we head towards another challenging and exciting year, we wish you and yours a great 2005 that we hope will be half as successful as the one be4.

John O'Byrne

Dear Friends:- Christmas again! Where does time go? Hearing from you, and catching up on your news - what can I say! What a year, one way and another - and, as ever, you tell it like it is. Christmas is a time for looking back and sharing the highs and lows, though we can't match your news - never could! Let's just say we're still here, arguing about whether you could surpass last year. Well, you've settled that; I don't know how you do it. We were almost fighting over who'd get to read your letter first. I don't think I could ever write anything to match your news - in fact, I wouldn't even try. Word processors and photocopiers have done so much to enliven our mundane existence. Where would we be without them! Keep 'em coming! Hope some of your success rubs off - you've been so generous with it. We must meet up some time - otherwise I'll be sending you the same letter next Christmas!

D A Prince

Dear All:- It was so nice to hear that David/John/Claire/Jane* is doing well at university. Unfortunately our son James will never experience it: his cerebral palsy is now so bad that he has weeks to live.

Nice to hear that Uncle Jack/John/ Auntie Jill/Marge* is enjoying retirement. My father died this week four days short of retirement.

Good to hear that young Alan/Bobby/ Celia/Gail* enjoyed such exotic holidays in Australia/Bali/Kenya/South Africa*. Our other son Peter doesn't earn enough to go on a holiday to Cleethorpes.

Very good to hear that Paul/Robert/ Simon/William has had promotion this year. Unfortunately, my company has gone bust, with no redundancy payments.

* Delete as required

Michael Berry

Dear Everyone:- I had not been looking forward to Christmas this year, expecting it to be the same and the same and the same as it ever was: Christmas carols, sitting around the table overeating, watching The Great Escape just to see if there were any bits I'd forgotten. But your family newsletter has perked me up. It reminded me that it is an opportunity for families to get together and, indeed, of what a wonderful thing families are. All human life is there. The older ones slowing down but still valued for their wisdom. The younger ones moving from first steps to first relationships. The delightful coexistence of the different generations, all with something to offer each other.

It was interesting to hear everything that is going on in your family - the triumphs and, I wouldn't say disasters, but the less happy things which have happened. For the former, I say congratulations; for the latter, my thoughts go with you.

I would like to reciprocate with my own newsletter, but have left it too late. Next year I shall send one. Promise.

Geoff Horton

Competition No 3845

Set by John Crick

Not just smoking in public places: how about a list of six things you'd like to see banned and six things you'd like to see?

To be in by 26 August. E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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