Win vouchers to spend at any Tesco store

Competition No 3822

Set by John O'Byrne, 8 March

We asked for new acronyms for the 21st century, eg, "Sitcom (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage)".

Report by Ms de Meaner

Ooh, how I loved them. It was all soooo difficult. I've decided to give £15 to those with more than two and £5 book tokens to the rest. Top dog has to be Bill Greenwell, who also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Obese: On Benefit, Eats Snacks Exclusively

Skint: Spent Kids' Inheritance Tastelessly

Spud: Single Parent, University Debt

Pact: Pensioners Against Council Tax

Stephen Bibby

Shit: Second Home In Tuscany

Piaf: Past It At Fifty

Moscow: Maintenance Outstanding, See Children Only Weekends

Scam: School Catchment Area Mover

Spell: Single Professional Enjoying Loft Living

Nicholas Hodgson

Wet: Worryingly Enlightened Tory

Shite: Single, High Income, Tax Evader

Fad: Fanatical Atkins Dieter

Sad: Struggling Atkins Dieter

Cad: Cheating Atkins Dieter

Gerard Benson

Farm: Fuck Any Ramblers, Matey

Toffs: Titled Owners For Fox Slaughter

Andre: Artiste Needing Deeply Romantic Experiences

Caff: Cooks Against Fast Food

Prams: Parents Revolting Against Mewling Sprogs

Paul: Priests Advocating Unfrocking Ladies

Delia: Devilish Eggheads Located In Aspic

Meldrew: Men Expostulating Loudly, Defiantly Refuting Exasperated Women

Blix: Baghdad Loners Inspecting Xerxes

Bill Greenwell

M: The National Minimalist Society of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland

Nomad: Member of the National Dyslexia Association

Lemsip: Late Every Morning, Sickies In Plenty

David Silverman

Single/doubletons

Gaga: Grandmothers and Grandfathers Anonymous

Dont: Department of Negative Thought

G M Davis

Slob: Sad, Lonely, Overweight Bastard

Michael Cregan

Truss: Traditionalists Reforming Ungainly Sentence Structure

Saddam: Society Against Deplorably Droopy Absurd Moustaches

Peter Barnes

Plumber: Person Lapping Up Money Becoming Extremely Rich

Prue Sheldon

Tabloid: Text All Bloody Lies; Ogling In Depth

Eric Swainson

Bigot: Brown Isn't Getting Our Taxes

Michael Birt

Swallow: Sex Workers Against Lousy Laws Oppressing Women

Anne Du Croz

Flay: Fiftysomething Losers Against Youth

Basil Ransome-Davies

Sparts: Sixty-Plus And Reliving The Sixties

John Samson

Hello!: Home Entered. Lovely Lolly. Oodles!

Watson Weeks

No 3825 Set by Margaret Rogers

We want extracts from an outline of the British constitution intended for schoolchildren to help them vote later on: 1066 and All That showed the way. As many as you like by 8 April. E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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