Watching brief - Amanda Platell hates orange people
Published 19 January 2004
To all those who defend Robert Kilroy-Silk's right to speak out, I simply ask: how would they react if James Naughtie described Israeli Jews as "limb amputators"? Asks Amanda Platell
I realise my future employment may be jeopardised by the following declaration, but I cannot be silent any longer. I am prejudiced, and I'm prejudiced solely on the basis of the colour of a person's skin.
I cannot abide orange people. Not those nice Hare Krishnas, but people who choose to be orange. Robert Kilroy-Silk, Andrew MacKay, Geoff Hoon, Liberace (the original orange), Jordan . . . I can't stand any of them.
The crown prince of orange, Kilroy-Silk, reinforced my prejudices with his offensive remarks in his Sunday Express column. He added insult to injury with his part-apology.
After his original description of Arabs as "suicide bombers, limb amputators, women oppressors", his attempt to defend the indefensible with an appeal to freedom of speech was vulgar even by his standards.
I admit to viewing this unfolding saga from afar (as far as Australia, as it happens), but the story has run high on the news bulletins here as well.
The silliness of this man clouds a most serious dilemma for the BBC. It is crucial that the BBC is seen to act but not overreact. And of all those who defend Kilroy-Silk, I simply ask: how would they react if James Naughtie described Israeli Jews as "limb amputators"?
Kilroy-Silk talks of a vendetta within the BBC, of people with an "axe to grind". Those who know him could hardly doubt that. Let's not forget that this is the man who put the noxious into obnoxious.
My first meeting with Kilroy-Silk came back in the late 1980s, when I was instructed to get him to join the Today newspaper as a columnist. New to the country, I asked what he looked like. Slippery, came the reply. I'll be looking for him, not feeling him, I said. Just look for the only guy in the place who's orange, they said. And there he was. Slippery and orange, and with an arrogance eclipsing any I had ever known. That was before I worked for the Tories, mind you.
Even though I have once foolishly appeared on it, his bearpit of a TV show Kilroy has little to recommend it.
And you have to ask yourself, why does a multimillionaire with a £2m-a-year contract with the BBC need to write a column for a national newspaper anyway? Sadly, orange people tend to be greedy, too. Whoops, there go my prejudices again.
I read with interest Alastair Campbell's interview in the Times magazine. He still talks to Tony Blair twice a week. He misses the "laffs" they had together. As for the next election: "I'd hate not to be involved in some way but I'm conscious there are other people there now who may want to do things differently."
Surely, some uncharacteristic inconsistency here from the former second-most-powerful man in the country. As Alastair is discovering, being a spin-doctor without a patient is like being the ex-wife of a very rich man. The power never lay with you. It's a hard old world being the ex when all he wants is to move on, and for you to do the same.
There is only one Englishman less popular than Jonny Wilkinson in Australia at the moment and he is Paul Burrell. Monarchists are rejoicing here. Having led the news for a fortnight, the investigation into the death of Diana has managed to do the unthinkable. It has resulted in a tidal wave of sympathy for Charles and "the boys".
This is the same Charles who, until Burrell's letter ludicrously named him as the man out to kill Diana, was the strongest argument in the republicans' repertoire. The Queen is tolerated, but King Charles? Aussies can't stop laughing long enough even to consider it. Until now. And "the boys", who just weeks ago were pilloried as spoilt rugby brats, are now seen as tragic victims. Well done, Paul. You have done more than any single person to advance the case of the monarchy in Australia. Maybe the butler was a fifth columnist after all.
Picking up the West Australian the day I arrived, I knew I was finally home. It had a cheery front page. A four-page pullout: "Summer nasties - how to survive the holiday season and avoid poisonous snakes, spiders, bees [yes, bees kill more people than any other creature in Oz], jellyfish, octopuses and sharks". And a special: "Killer crocodile - how two men outsmarted the croc that ate their mate".
Ever mindful of its public service remit, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation has been running regular croc watches. On its flagship morning radio show, its (female) equivalent of Andrew Marr was quizzing a local about the sighting of a five-metre-long freshwater crocodile at one of the big tourist resorts up north. He said the resort was full of Poms, and they were a bit worried. The presenter said: "I hope you get the croc before it gets someone else." But I don't think she meant it.
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