Watching brief - Amanda Platell applauds Alastair Campbell
Published 17 November 2003
Mark Bolland worked miracles for Charles, and I understand why he is angry. Loyalty is something the prince expects, but he does not always feel obliged to return it
Three big beasts of British spin-doctoring rumbled out of the jungle at the weekend, two of them defending their old bosses and one of them shafting his. The Mail on Sunday had Charlie Whelan speaking up for Gordon Brown while Alastair Campbell was doing his bit for Tony Blair in the Sunday Times.
Campbell's piece marked his return to newspaper punditry, and he made a good fist of it. Largely an appraisal of Michael Howard's coup and his chances, it was a nice mix of tabloid language and political experience. It was, however, overly long and lacked the one thing Campbell was always the master of - a headline. And I was surely not the only one who laughed when the former Rottweiler of new Labour described himself as "a former communications strategist". Comical Ali at his best, or has he gone grand?
The third big beast to reappear was Mark Bolland, former spin-meister to the Prince of Wales, and he came not to praise Charles, but to bury him. In an interview with the News of the World, the paper that carries his new Blackadder column, he revealed that Sir Michael Peat had asked him whether he thought Charles was bisexual. As any spin-doctor would have foreseen, this poured another tanker-load of petrol on a fire that was already beginning to look like a royal funeral pyre.
I understand why Bolland is angry. He worked miracles for Charles, to the point where even I almost came to like him. But Charles is a user. Loyalty is something he expects from his staff, but it is not something he always feels obliged to give in return. For all his wrath, however, Bolland still has to be mindful that his link with Charles has contributed greatly to his client list at Mark Bolland & Associates. The royal connection is even more precious to some of these companies than Bolland's brilliance.
What if Charles never gets the job and it goes straight to William? When he wanted a pizza on Saturday night, the young prince demanded that Pizza Hut close an entire floor for him and his hangers-on, all four of them.
And when it came to doing his royal duty, the taxing job of putting in an appearance on the balcony overlooking the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday, he chose instead to stay in and watch the rugby. They said that our soldiers died for king and country; the way this mob is going, it won't be long before it's just country.
In an interview with the Times, the Daily Telegraph owner, Conrad Black, tells us what he thinks of two of his former editors. He accuses Max Hastings of "bottling out" over the price war with the Times, and describes Charles Moore as a "pub bore", especially on Ulster, Europe and the countryside. All this in the pages of the Telegraph's arch-rival.
He saved his cruellest remarks, however, for his paper's already trembling leader writers and columnists, deploring their "medieval monastic tenure". "They were very talented, amusing people but they rather amplified each other's eccentricities and anachronistic qualities," said Black.
While that may be true of some, it is certainly not true of Janet Daley. One of the shrewdest and most unsentimental of political commentators, she is the one whose displeasure the Conservatives really fear, as she cuts right to the truth, however unpalatable.
The war in Iraq secured Sky News's reputation for being first with the story, and on a 24-hour news channel the importance of this cannot be underestimated. So I was interested to test it against BBC News 24 on the day that Michael Howard announced his shadow cabinet. Reshuffles are always tricky to cover live, as rumour is rapidly replaced with fact.
We had Adam Boulton, still master of the rolling news story, up against the talented but young Guto Hari. While Hari rambled on about faulty e-mails, standing outside Conservative Central Office, you could see Boulton over his shoulder. No e-mail problems there, just great contacts and probably great instincts.
Boulton got the team first, and with the added benefit for viewers of not having to listen to the News 24 anchorwoman Jane Hill. During the Iraq war I dubbed her Jane "Machine-Gun" Hill, due to her habit of going "er er er" all the time. After her dogged commentary on how cold Hari looked, I have renamed her Jane "Inane" Hill. The BBC's regular weather updates informed us it was a warm 11 C.
Michael Portillo will stand down at the next election to pursue his media career. It is not true he has accepted a cameo on The Salon. On the cards instead is a series based on his When Michael Portillo Became a Single Mum documentary. The original show stretched the bounds of credibility, so a few more plausible concepts are under consideration. When Michael Portillo Became a Loyal Tory is not thought to be among them.
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