What to drink when it is so hot that the air in and out of the house is at body temperature, and nowhere but the inside of the fridge has even the slightest cooling effect on your skin?
The day begins with chilled coffee. Foodies say this ought to be made only with espresso frozen into dark cubes then smashed into fresh milk. I have always had a sneaking preference for the instant version, because that is what is served in seashore bars on hot little Greek islands, and I always taste in it the cobalt blue of summer sky and the grating of a rare morning cigarette on a youthful, empty stomach.
It's easy enough to make: just shake a spoonful of coffee granules in a jam jar with cold water, milk, ice and sugar until it froths. I have been using my cocktail shaker - also enjoying a new lease of life as a vinaigrette-maker - for this.
During the morning, heat demands that you drink pint after pint of water that's been a couple of hours out of the fridge. Then, in the afternoon, a treat: lemonade. All the big shops sell "fresh lemonade" now but none has got it right, and so I make my own in just the same way my mother did.
It takes virtually no time at all. Just scrub then slice a few lemons. Place them in a jug and pour over just enough boiling water to cover. Leave to steep for a good half-day, or overnight. Taste and stir in sugar until you achieve the desired sweetness. Dilute if necessary with a little more water and store in the fridge.
However sticky the weather, a cup of smoky lapsang souchong in the afternoon is always refreshing. Then more water will tide you through to the evening's drinks.
Once dusk arrives, rum cocktails are good if you intend to dance. On a sweaty night at the Brixtonian recently, every piece of paper or card in the place became a makeshift fan, with dancers fanning each other as they grooved, and the cocktails were so in demand the bar ran out of rum.
I have not had a chance to try this yet, but my cousin insists Pernod with cranberry and orange juice is also an amazing concoction for summer evenings. "It sounds vile, but it's incredibly delicious."
As for wine, it has been too hot for the delicate whites I usually enjoy in August (they spill down thirsty throats so quickly that you become horribly drunk). But Sauvignon Blanc, especially from New Zealand, is in its vibrant, zesty, heat-slaying element. A glass or two of that and then you can move on to red. Do, however, be sure to chill the red before drinking. No red wine tastes good if it is served above 18 degrees Celsius - that's around 20 degrees below recent room (or garden) temperatures. So stick it in an ice bucket or it'll taste soupy and hot.
