UK Politics
The insider - Paul Routledge
Published 17 March 2003
A Straw-Cook alliance, an Aussie verdict on Alastair, and MPs carry on scrubbing
For the first time in Tony Blair's nine-year tenure as leader, MPs are actively canvassing the names of successors. They are talking of Jack Straw in an improbable alliance with Robin Cook as a "dream ticket". The two worked on the late Peter Shore's team when he was shadow chancellor (1980-83), and apparently got on well. The charm of the arrangement (to some) is that the alliance could not only keep Gordon Brown out of No 10, but also turf him out of No 11, since either man could play chancellor to the other's premier. The Home Secretary, David Blunkett, is ruled out as a contender. But, extraordinarily, Charles Clarke is not - the Education Secretary may throw his hat in the ring, it is said, mainly as a marker for the next vacancy. Such talk may seem frivolous, but even some of Blair's closest friends think he may quit after the Iraq business is over.
Meantime, the Great Helmsman continues to prefer the company of right-wing national leaders to those who might once have belonged to the Socialist International. But he doesn't always impress them. On his recent visit, the Aussie prime minister, John Howard, went to breakfast in Downing Street. While the statesmen slurped their coffee, a tall, gaunt man burst in. He yelled instructions, telling Blair what to do that day and "what we are telling the press", and left just as abruptly. Howard later asked aides who this mystery Svengali might be. They recognised his description. Yes, it was Alastair Campbell. "He wouldn't last five minutes back home," said the nasty Oz.
By the way, the rumour mill insists that there are more smoking e-mails on Cheriegate, the affair linking the con man Peter Foster and the Blairs' purchase of two flats in Bristol. A tabloid Sunday paper has the texts, but fears to publish.
The Ron "Afghan" Brown Memorial Showers have been saved for a grateful nation by sweaty backbenchers. A committee of busybodies chaired by the Tory MP Derek Conway wanted to turn the conveniently situated facility - where Brown, when he was honourable member for Leith, was disturbed while showering with a lady friend - into yet more offices. MPs said "no". A case of "you scratch my back, I'll scrub yours"?
Despite his military background, IDS, I hear, failed to impress army top brass during his trip to the front line in Kuwait. Only some nifty footwork by his beefy spin-doctor Mike Penning - as much an ex-squaddie as his boss is officer class - enabled the Tory leader to get his patriotic picture taken with the troops.
Tom Watson MP, girthsome successor to Peter Snape in West Bromwich, is generous to a fault. Leaving the Gay Hussar after lunch, he saw Snape at another table and left a credit-card swipe for a post-prandial brandy for the old boy. Weeks later, Watson was presented with an enormous bill, and the former signalman sheepishly admitted that he did not much care for brandy, but he did rather fancy three bottles of champagne.
Fresh evidence of new Labour's tenuous grasp of geography. Paul Farrelly, MP for Newcastle-under-Lyme, is inundated with plugs for government initiatives in Geordieland, 100 miles away. "I used to reply and say that my constituency is nowhere near the north-east," he sighs, "but that just seemed to encourage them."
Paul Routledge is chief political commentator for the Daily Mirror
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