Society
Now what? - Lauren Booth deplores Lady McCartney's bad manners
Published 10 March 2003
Sir Paul McCartney should teach his new wife, Heather, better manners
Standing in the raging river of fame at the champagne reception before the Pride of Britain Awards, I was mentally readying myself to "do the room" when my eyes became glued on a woman with bright eyes and brown hair. "I know you," said my expression, even as my brain pleaded no, no, look away, you fool, before it's too late. The woman looked as if she might "know" me as well. She was still two feet away, with Chris Tarrant between us, when her eyes widened and her mouth twitched nervously. I could see her thoughts - "I don't know this woman, after all. What do I do?"
She gave me a rueful wave, mouthed "toilets . . ." and then Natasha Kaplinsky veered away like a speeding car swerving to avoid an already half-mangled pigeon. Shaken by the moment of social awkwardness, I dived for the champagne and finished two glasses before finally approaching Radio 5 Live's Fi Glover, safe in the knowledge that we had definitely met before.
Hanging out with celebrities takes skill and I must be out of practice as I even forgot the first rule - always face the room. Chatting to Fi and then to Sue Carroll of the Mirror I saw that they both (rightly) stood facing the room. As we chatted, Sue and Fi were able to peer gracefully over my shoulder at Paul Young and Richard Madeley while pretending politely to have a conversation. I simply got neck ache resisting the urge to fling my head around and gawp.
The awards were the usual moving blend of girls called Holly who made their dads so proud they cried in public, elderly neighbours being good to each other and, tragically, a bereaved mother who has devoted herself to saving other children from her own child's fate.
As usual, the Prime Minister had filmed a video tribute to the winners. In past years, his words were met with, if not awe, then certainly quiet respect. This time, when he began with "Sorry I can't be with you tonight . . ." his words sounded so cliched that there was outright laughter of the yeah-right-you'd-sooner-be-with-Bush kind. This year, too, his famed look of "humility" and his legendary off-the-cuff manner seemed just a little too Dead Ringers, a bit too Rory Bremner to be taken seriously in the light of the genuine emotions all around us. The giggles did eventually die down and the PM was given some light applause.
Laughter threatened again when the Prince of Wales's face loomed large on a big screen. He fared better than the PM, though, as his work with the Prince's Trust earns him more brownie points with the public.
The shock of the night was Heather Mills McCartney. She and her hubby Paul were sharing a table with Piers Morgan, ostensibly the awards "host". When Heather stood to present an award, instead of sticking to the script she sneered that she was amazed a man like Piers Morgan was involved with such a worthy event. She inferred not too subtly that a man such as Morgan is not the sort who usually sets up events with achievement, not money, at their heart. Basically (but in not so many words), Heather Mills called Piers Morgan a bastard in front of his mates, his bosses and - unless it's cut from the show - a huge number of television viewers. She must have expected appreciative laughter from the gathered celebs but, having just been given a great dinner and lots of free booze, we all remembered our manners and refused to spit in our host's face. There was an awkward silence and one or two shocked titters.
Sir Paul had better teach his new wife some manners. I asked Morgan about her comments at the party afterwards and he had the look of a grinning snake before it strikes. If the McCartneys thought Morgan was a bastard before Monday night, they won't think any better of him when he takes his (inevitable) revenge for the attempt to humiliate him.
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