Society
Cristina Odone expects men to change more nappies
Published 20 January 2003
The childcaring dad will be as important a social development as the working mum
For generations of men and women, the refrain "Daddy, I hardly knew you" was achingly familiar. From Elizabeth I to Vincent van Gogh, from Germaine Greer to Ingmar Bergman, some of the greatest and best have suffered the misery of a distant father, and spent their adulthood mourning the relationship that never was - or blaming dad for f***ing them up. These illustrious figures were not alone: either because of work commitments or from a misplaced sense of machismo - or simply because they didn't know what to say to the little critters - fathers generally stayed away from children.
No longer. A survey carried out by the Equal Opportunities Commission found that a remarkable one-third of childcare is being undertaken by Britain's papas. They are changing the nappy, holding the baby, poring over the homework and attending the school play like their fathers and grandfathers never did. Most men now spend two hours every weekday with their children - in marked contrast to ten years ago, when they spent a few minutes with the mini-me's. The consequences of this new father-child bonding will prove as far-reaching as the advent of the working mother. Papa's interest in Junior means stereotypes have to be rewritten, so that caring-sharing daddies rather than the Blue-Beardish, scowling paterfamilias will feature in folklore. "Wait until your daddy gets home" will no longer be a threat of spanking, but the promise of an evening's fun; and, conversely, "Father knows best" will no longer seem as unassailable a truism as it did in the days when he was a mysterious, omnipotent and always-too-busy-to-stay-at-home figure. The new childcaring fathers will lead to the male colonisation of those bookshelves laden with "how to" manuals and self-help parenting books; and psychiatrists, who cashed in on parental indifference and absence, will start to feel the pinch.
Above all, though, working fathers who help to look after the little ones will become a working mother's biggest ally. With male employees now doing so much childminding, child-friendly, flexible hours at work will no longer be an option, but a necessity; half-term and school holidays will become sacrosanct. And as for fathers shying away from asking for time off to attend the littlest one's school play - no more. They will find strength in numbers, and force their bosses to recognise that there is life beyond the office. For a lucky few, at least.
Post this article to
We want to encourage people to comment on our content and to exchange views with other readers and hope this will be done on a courteous basis. However, if you encounter posts which are offensive please let us know by emailing comments@newstatesman.co.uk and we will take swift action where necessary.
