A customer convinced his wife's bar meal was served with HP sauce - not the promised home-made variety - broke back into the pub to try to prove his point. Maxwell James, 37, decided to go back and search for a bottle of HP sauce. Landlord Adam Thompson spotted him using a hammer to smash down the door of the Ilchester Arms in Abbotsbury, Dorset, at 2.30am - clad in army fatigues, balaclava and gloves. James, who admitted criminal damage, was given a conditional discharge by Weymouth magistrates. Though adamant the sauce was HP, defence and prosecution lawyers could not prove it either way.
London Metro (Guy Clifton)

Launching the debate, Peter Selby, the bishop of Worcester, said: "I represent John Major, who appointed me, and it is very encouraging that so many of you remember him."
Guardian (Harvey Cole)

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