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Competition No 3746

Set by John Crick on 26 August

We asked for new inventions that would revolutionise life in the 21st century.

Report by Ms de Meaner

You divided into two camps: those who sent in long lists of one-liners, one of which was funny (eg, R J Pickles: "Marmalade jars with spring-loaded bottoms"), and those who spent their word quota describing one or two inventions. A large number sent in mobile phone jamming devices, but only Basil's had the attractive bowie-knife addition. £20 prizes. The vouchers go to Anne Du Croz, the overall winner.

A much-needed invention has finally surfaced: a device to warn pedestrians that a cyclist is approaching from behind, now that cyclists have taken to the pavements in huge numbers to avoid being crushed by motorists. An audible warning can help avoid the everyday fear, regular injury and occasional death. The device comes in the form of an inexpensive, manually operated bell with a clear, resonant tone which can be clipped to the handlebars.

The "Silence Is Golden" mobile phone jammer has a full frequency range and can be operated invisibly from your pocket. To deal with mobiles fitted with an anti-jamming unit, there is a back-up solution included: a bowie knife with which to cut the offender's throat.

Basil Ransome-Davies

Forget about the worries of painful jabs, deep-vein thrombosis, flight delays, dodgy foreign food and overpriced hotel rooms. The Passepartout collects a treasure trove of holiday memories while you spend your hard-earned vacation relaxing in the comfort of your own bed.

This suitcase-shaped robot features a forward-mounted video camera, specially programmed to record the most thrilling sights encountered on the tour you have personally chosen for it. You simply pay for the Passepartout to be sent on a number of flights to fascinating destinations. At each new city, the Passepartout is given an action-packed tour, a representative souvenir and the chance for its sniff-o-bank to record some tantalising local smells for you, before it is put on to the next flight. When its tour is complete, the Passepartout is delivered back to your home, brimming with mementoes of your unforgettable holiday.

Paul Brummell

You leave before the post arrives on Friday; you get back late, or even Sunday night. What happens to the clotted cream from Polperro, the Confiseur Luxury Assortment from Chocexpress, the Cumberland game pie, or Dover sole from Rick Stein? Does it sit there, stewing for hours, perhaps days, on your sunny doorstep or on the mat in your centrally heated hallway? With a Secure Doorback Fridge, it stays cool and fresh. Weight-activated, thief-proof, installed beneath your letter box - it's an absolute must-have.

Stalin did it. Now you can do it, too. Photomorph Pro allows you easily to copy your favourite family snaps, editing out your ex and substituting your current partner. Wish you hadn't worn that unsuitable hat at your daughter's wedding? Replace it. Wish you were slimmer? You can be. Alter your history with Photomorph Pro.

Anne Du Croz

No 3749 Set by Brendan O'Byrne

We have been inspired by the Washington Post. Let's have some modern curses - I liked their "May your elderly billionaire father marry a young woman with huge breasts", although most were a bit too parochial for a British audience.
Max ten goes by 27 September (to appear in issue dated 7 October) E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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