Win vouchers to spend at any Tesco store

Competition No 3738

Set by Margaret Rogers on 1 July

"Nobody can be specific about what sleaze precisely involves," wrote Richard Ingrams. We asked you to enlighten him.

Report by Ms de Meaner

I hope he has now seen the light. £10 to the winners. The sleaziest of all - Geoff Thurman - also wins the Tesco vouchers.

Sleaze means treating brown envelopes with reverence.

M E Ault

Sleaze is what politicians get up to when they're not asleep.

The endemic corruption in corporate America is definitely not sleaze. The correct term there is "a few bad apples".

When a politician dresses up in a Premier League football strip to have sex with a tart, it is known as "sleaze". When Lauren Booth wrestles naked with Petronella Wyatt in a vat of jelly, it is known as "a perfectly healthy fantasy".

R Ewing

Sleaze involves other people.

David Silverman

Sleaze is . . .

Something that, had it not existed, would have had to be invented to sell the Sunday papers.

Sometimes confused with the perquisites of office.

Frank Dunnill

Sleaze . . .

Means never having to say you're sorry.

Is when the bucks stop here, but never the buck.

Is diplomacy by another name.

Geoff Thurman

Sleaze is . . .

Drawing a pension for having run Railtrack.

Not paying enough tax when you're the richest woman in Britain.

Claiming compensation for cattle you were too mean to have vaccinated.

Flattering Gordon Brown in order to win the NS competition more frequently.

Ian Birchall

When a man is accused of sleaze, he knows that, career-wise, he has arrived.

To have one mistress covertly is sleazy; to run five concurrently (and openly) is both enterprising and enviable.

Watson Weeks

Sleaze is . . .

What it turns out you've been doing when you get caught.

What we are constantly witnessing in the party opposite.

Taking money for asking questions when maybe you should be asking questions anyway.

Somehow more gentlemanly in Britain.

- I'm not saying anything till I've seen my brief!

Michael Cregan

Sleaze is . . .

The prelude to finding God in jail.

The e-mail that never was.

Everything on Mr Al Fayed's tab.

Get me Max Clifford on the phone.

Breaking the 11th commandment.

Basil Ransome-Davies

No 3741 Set by Stan Knafler
In our health supplement (24 June), we published an A-Z of diseases that could be cured by old and strange remedies. We want old and strange remedies for political problems - eg, the loss of a safe seat.
Max ten letters by 2 August (to appear in issue dated 12 August) E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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