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Competition No 3730

Set by Robert Silver, 6 May

Pithy morals for great classic films.

Report by Ms de Meaner

Because of space problems last week I was unable to announce the sad death of one of our most regular compers, T Griffiths. His daughter told us how "very proud" he had been when he won and that one of her most abiding memories of him had been the Friday start on the competition every week. We shall miss him.

£5 token for each moral. The supreme champion, R J Pickles, also gets the vouchers.

Lassie Come Home - Don't get rid of the dog basket

The Birds - Wear a hat.

R J Pickles

Apocalypse Now - It is better to travel interminably than to arrive.

Deliverance - There's nowt so queer as folk.

Adrian Fry

Harvey - Rabbit-keeping can bring a lot of pleasure.

Peter Lyon

Singing in the Rain - Never lend your umbrella to a man who is in love.

Connor Moan

The Wizard of Oz - The importance of good shoes for a woman cannot be overstated.

Seth Brown

Titanic - Fly!

Peter Reeve

Silence of the Lambs - Hockey masks offer limited protection.

Basil Ransome-Davies

Psycho - Pack The Good Hotel Guide

Ron Rubin

Gorillas in the Mist - Dating agencies aren't the only option for thirtysomethings.

Anne Du Croz

The Godfather - Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Christopher Orlik

The French Connection - Let the train take the strain.

Christopher Wilson

The Full Monty - More is less . . . somehow.

John Griffiths-Colby

When Harry Met Sally - Don't ask a woman to a restaurant if you don't want them to come.

Silence of the Lambs - You are what I eat.

Kevin Smith

If - There's nothing wrong with comprehensives.

Will Bellenger

Star Wars - Never trust an asthmatic.

Ian Andrews

Last Year at Marienbad - Try not to lose the plot.

Ian Birchall

No 3733 Set by George Cowley

Joshua Winter (NS, 6 May) wrote that "the human animal is hardwired to find meaning in a universe where there is none". So let's have the "meaning" of as many random events as you can think of, put into one great theory.

Max 150 words by 7 June<(to appear in issue dated 1 7 June)E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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