Back-bench MPs were said to be considering Tony Blair's future. A new translation of the Kama Sutra is out this week

This is the missionary position:

I am still on top. I have real zeal,

and will put on a spurt. Lie back.

This is the crouch:

spring into action, and you won't know

where I am coming from. Ouch.

This is the fox on the run:

my horn is my trumpet. With one bound

I will hunt with the hounds, barking.

This is the pink octopus:

a squirt of ink, and a bunch of suckers.

Or is that a different cuttlefish entirely?

This is the dromedary jump:

one hump, and my lickspittle's sticky.

Try to dislodge me. Tricky.

This is the laughing hyena:

facing both ways, and intent on carrion.

Persistent and clever. A joy, as ever.

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