Competition - Win vouchers to spend at any Tesco store

Competition No 3718

We asked for horoscopes for fictional characters.

Report by Ms de Meaner

This week was one of mixed fortunes for the compers. A lot of you didn't quite get into the spirit of the thing, I felt, and sent in rather serious and caring horoscopes such as this for Hercule Poirot: "Granted that you may be both shrewd and meticulous in your summing up of the characters of your fellow men, but isn't it time you relaxed and lived a little? With both Venus and Mars in the sector of your chart concerned with intimate relations, romance could be on the cards . . ." etc. Otherwise, the choice of winners speaks for itself. Oh, and one line from Basil Ransome-Davies's horoscope for Hannibal Lecter needs repeating: "You will find that the coming week sharpens your appetite for company." A little gem! £20 to the winners. The overall winner is Anne Du Croz, who also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Venus, love's own planet, will enter your zone of secret desires, so it will be a busy month for love, but the heavens will show many complexities. An R may take precedence over a P and you may become aware of dangerous Martian influences souring the relations between your family and another. You may have to wait a while for those expensive oriental carpets. The new moon will be a sign that will raise your hope, but the crossing of stars may impede the smooth fulfilment of your desires. Mercury will appear in the form of a friend who affects the course of your romance, bringing death and destruction while intending to promote your happiness. However, whatever disasters overtake you, whatever failure of your desired climax, you may be assured of there being much rejoicing at the final reconciliation of your two families. So almost all may end well and you may rest peacefully in the knowledge that you will be remembered with gratitude by those who loved you and thought constantly of your well-being.

Peter Alexander

Robinson Crusoe

Expect a period of stagnation in your personal relationships. This will coincide with a new direction in your life. Pressures may require you to give your personal appearance and wardrobe a lower priority than previously. This is not the time for indulging in dandyish tendencies.

There will be a chance to relive your hippie past, eg, the simple life/self-sufficiency, a taste for home-grown produce and for meditation. You may see exotic, foreign practices of which you do not approve. Tact will be vital here.

You will have to make your own entertainment, but will develop an unusual relationship with one individual whose dependence on you may come to be both flattering and burdensome. But this coming phase will entail no money worries and will lead to new career opportunities and a genre of literature in which you could become a pioneer. You will emerge a stronger person. Make no detailed plans. Take each day as it comes.

J Seery

The first Mrs Rochester

You'll find it very difficult to stay in control of your emotions today, but why would you want to? Sometimes it's best to to let everything out. Go on, have a good scream. You've coped with that shut-in feeling for too long, and you now have a burning desire to lash out. Upsets with your significant other have left you feeling surly, and not all that easy to get along with. You're mad at him. Whispers may be circulating. You believe he's met someone new, but she's not fit to hold a candle to you? Be discriminating about accepting gossip. Make yourself invisible! Play the waiting game - you have a "deep, dark secret".

You can be amazingly impulsive this weekend, when the Sun, your ruler, joins forces with Uranus, planet of sudden changes. It's then you need to take risks. Something shocking is likely to happen, and you could do something spectacular. You'll have the last laugh. Be assured, your plans will go off like a house on fire.

Anne Du Croz

Solomon Grundy

These promise to be quite an eventful few days for you. The early part of the week may involve a spiritual dimension, while romance looms around the middle of the week. This is all a little sudden - some might say premature - and it is arguable whether you are yet emotionally mature enough to handle either of these commitments. Try not to overdo it. It could be that the excitement might take its toll on you. The indications are that things won't go quite so well for you during the latter part of the week. Prepare for some not so good news by the weekend. Put it this way - don't bother ordering next week's Time Out . . .

Leda

With Jupiter very much in the ascendancy, this could be an exciting week for you. Love is in the air and romance may well turn up in the most unexpected of guises. You might have to ruffle a few feathers in order to get what you want. But hey, why not push the boat out? Cast your bread upon the waters and don't be too Spartan with your affections. Before long, who knows who you might be swanning around with?

David Silverman

No 3721 Set by John Crick

Kathy Lette suggested in the NS last November that there should be a Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Writers. We would like you to send in some new, interesting and innovative suggestions for a Royal Society for the Prevention of . . . with a summary of its scope and activities.

200 words to be in by 14 March

(to appear in our issue dated 25 March)

E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk