The terror in New York has ignited a war of words in homes, pubs and studios across the UK. Two days after the attack, Radio 5's late-night panel was rejigged to include a genuine British ex-colonel and, as an afterthought, Michael Dobbs, the writer and one-time vice-chairman of the Tory party. The show was three hours long, but with media hysteria concerning New York nowhere near its zenith, the poor old Tory-story was given only a grudging five minutes at the end of the programme.

Now, debates on Radio 5 usually get heated when callers, excited by the opportunity to air their unsavoury views, get ranting. On this occasion, however, the callers were all pretty impressive. The Daves and Johns who rang in mostly hoped that Bush would be cautious rather than gung-ho where Afghanistan and innocent civilians were concerned.

Several British Muslims came on air to remind listeners that the Koran does not preach violence. It was depressing that, without fail, every Muslim began by saying, "The whole community feels terrible for America. We do not endorse these acts", as if the failure to say this at the beginning of each sentence would lead us to believe that mosques up and down the country were vibrating with secret laughter.

Their anxiety about thoughtless reprisals was proved entirely founded, however, when an American came on air. The presenter, Fi Glover, asked the caller if he understood Britain's reticence about taking drastic action. "Of course I don't," he snarled. He went on to remind us that "Americans have been killed". This was said with such ferocity that Glover looked taken aback. The American went on to say that he didn't care how many foreigners had to die to remind the world that the US of A would not be a victim. When asked how he felt about innocent casualties in Afghanistan, he sneered: "Lady, war is hell; that's all I can say."

Unfortunately, this wasn't simply some crackpot tourist from the Deep South - this crackpot was an American colonel. The four of us sat like slack-jawed goldfish as he spoke. Thank goodness his parting shot broke the tension and had Michael Dobbs choking back his laughter. The colonel said he was greatly relieved that Britain was "more like the US" than other dodgy, European countries where commie sympathisers and "liberals" walked about the streets freely. "There are no liberals in Britain," he announced.

The next day, at a barbeque in north London, what started as a relaxed, boozy sausage-fest threatened to deteriorate into a screaming match between warring couples, when an advertising executive and a computer whizz-kid spent two hours trying to out-macho each other about the "war on terrorism" that we're now involved in. The birthday girl kept trying to break things up with cheery calls of "C'mon, guys, more sausages on the way" and then desperate pleas to "please, please try some of the raspberry tartin".

But it was no good. At 7pm, one of them slurred bullishly: "Look, if killing a bunch of Muslim kids means that mine will be safer, then so be it. I'd bomb them myself." Yet this wasn't enough. Strikes on every Muslim state could be carried out as a warning "not to fuck with the free world", and anyone who didn't like it could be arrested or, preferably, shot.

It took a while for the saner guests to realise that he wasn't sending up the American gung-ho attitude, and that he did believe what he was saying. Only one lovely girl, who works for a charity dealing with refugees and Amnesty International, tried relentlessly for another hour to make the hooligan say something remotely rational or intelligent. She failed.

Sadly, she had to get a lift home with the man who had made her so furious that she had almost cried. Worse still, he was her boyfriend and, before last Tuesday, they had been talking marriage. He seems to be on far shakier ground now. Four planes. A million repercussions.

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