The terror in America cast a pall over the Trades Union Congress. Delegates and media gathered by television screens in Brighton conference centre, a few weeping openly. Hardier souls watched the drama unfold in the Fiddler's Elbow. Here, Mick Rix, the leader of Aslef, the train drivers' union, who has been granted exceptional leave to remain in the Labour Party after fleeing Arthur Scargill's barmy army, was volubly sympathetic towards the victims. Ken Cameron, Palestinophile ex-leader of the Fire Brigades Union, wisely cancelled two fringe meetings on the Arab-Israeli conflict. The TUC general council cancelled its dinner, but the teaching unions found it too late to call off the food and drink at their bash. Half a dozen TUC-toughened veterans followed events on a giant screen.

Still, one potential disaster was averted. Rodney Bickerstaffe, lately of Unison and now head of the Pensioners' Convention, complained that there was not enough light in his room at the Royal Albion hotel, and was offered a candelabra. He declined, pointing out that the hotel had burned down a few years ago and he had no wish to repeat the mishap.

A notice in the gents' cloakroom before Tony Blair was due to address Congress read: "Please note that these urinals will be closed to trade union members tomorrow. Simply stay in your seat, and the Labour Party will take the piss out of you."

Mo Mowlam makes a cameo appearance in Andy McSmith's hilariously accurate novel Innocent in the House, as a foul-mouthed Northern Ireland secretary who sneers at her posh ex-public school predecessors for acting grandly towards the IRA and loyalists. "They don't know how to deal with me, cos I ain't at all posh," she says, "and I got one of these", pointing to her groin. This near-the-knuckle line is based on a true story, but McSmith, the Daily Telegraph's tame Labour man at Westminster, was none the less startled to get a call from Mo. "I can't tell you how upset I am," she exclaimed, "how shocked, how dismayed . . . " before bursting into laughter that would have done Red Rum credit.

Twice-disgraced Peter Mandelson went to a GMTV summer party to prove he is still around, and opined loudly that regional accents are quite the thing on television these days. Particularly Geordie. "Oh, so I can speak Brummie on air, can I?" trilled the producer Suzie Norton. Mandy shot her a look of withering condescension, and turned on his heels. Funny way with women, that boy.

Prudence is all very well, but it can go too far. The MSP Helen Eadie has complained bitterly to everyone in authority that the wee post office in Lochgelly, Fife, ran out of money one day recently. This village is in the heart of the Chancellor's constituency. Local firms were asked to bank their cash early so that benefits could be paid out to claimants, but even that wasn't enough. Punters were told to take the bus to Cowdenbeath, and Ms Eadie is outraged by such an "imposition of misery". It must be a very slow and uncomfortable bus. However, Gordon Brown should remember that Lochgelly is the home of the tawse, the Scottish schoolroom lash, before he allows the post office to go broke again.

The British Council clearly feels for the troubled Conservative Party. Baroness (Helena) Kennedy, the council's chair, has invited delegates going to the Labour Party conference to a reception at the Grand Hotel. It is being jointly sponsored by the BBC World Service, with the director Mark Byford doing the gladhanding. But representatives (as they prefer to be called) attending the Conservative conference the following week in Blackpool are invited by Lord Strathclyde and Virginia Bottomley on behalf of the British Council to a drinks reception with a saxophone quartet. Moreover, the Tory party's party goes on for half an hour longer. Nor do they have to put up with the BBC, and their invitations kindly spell out what the British Council is, whereas Labour types are presumed to know.

Paul Routledge is chief political commentator for the Mirror

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