Competition No 3692
Set by Margaret Rogers on 30 July
We asked for a list of ten new cool things, plus ten naff things.
Report by Ms de Meaner
Although the winners had to create a list of ten ins and outs, a number sent in the occasional flash of brilliance and wit. So here goes: In - mugging (Peter Lyon); any exercise with an unpronounceable name, eg, Pilates (Barbara Daniels); foot-and-mouth (Ian Birchall); inquiring "Who are the Becks?" (Chas F Garvey). Out - writing "Who he?" (Peter Lyon); BSE (Ian Birchall); expressing faith in Tony Blair (Chas F Garvey). The above names can all have hon menshes. £20 to the winners, and the vouchers go to Will Bellenger.
In
Wap
Ken Clarke
Get Carter
Boris
Transfers
Perjury
Ricket science
Dalek
Old Age
Piques
Out
Wapping
Arthur C Clarke
Helena Bonham Carter
Doris
Tattoos
Libel
Rocket science
Garlic
New Age
Summits
Will Bellenger
In
Abvtd words
G8 protests
Big Brother
MUFCplc
Ladettes
Transparency
Samphire
Consultative
forums
Bob Kiley
Performing
Out
Buzzwords
GM protests
Badger Watch
Man U
Girl power
Accountability
Rocket
Referendums
Pierre-Yves Gerbeau
Reforming
W J Webster
In
Emmerdale
Jigsaw puzzles
Holidays in Morecambe
Gerry Adams
Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich
Irn Bru
John Galsworthy, J B Priestley Scunthorpe United
Jackboots
The cinema of Michael Winner
Out
EastEnders
Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll
Holidays in Tuscany, Bermuda, Machu, Picchu, etc
Nietzsche
Bjork
cocktails, designer water, etc
Martin Amis, Julian Barnes, Salman
Rushdie
Manchester United, Leeds United,
Newcastle United
Doc Martens
The cinema of Orson Welles
Basil Ransome-Davies
In
St Tropez tans
Getting shot by the police
Short, clean, bare nails
Paedophile rapper JLB8
Boob tubes
The Windsor look - accessorise with neck braces, wheelchairs, etc
Rips and safety pins
Jewellery made from embryonic stem cells
Support groups for victims of the Women
Empowering Women pyramid selling scam
Cork heels
Out
Pale and interesting
Shepherd's pie and Krug (unless done in an ironic, postmodern way)
Nail art
Retro TV shows like I Love 2000 or I Remember the First Seven Months of 2001
Designer logo T-shirts
The revamped search engine on the New Statesman's website
Fringed jeans
The "Something Inside So Strong"
Peugeot 307 ad
Manchester
Flip-flops
R Ewing
No 3695 Set by Chief Bottle Washer
Parker & Partners has won the Australian government account to write speeches for the Department of Transport & Regional Services after its speech-writing service was put out to tender. The brief includes speeches for Australia's deputy prime minister and National Party leader, John Anderson, who is also the department's minister.
We would like you to send in a winning pitch from a PR company to a UK government department of your choice.
Max 200 words, to be in by 30 August (to appear in issue dated 10 September).
Many apologies for the deadline mix-up over the past three weeks.
