One soaking-wet shot taken at the Iguazu Falls, Brazil, and years of PR stitching unravels at the seams. That must be how Cherie Blair's formidable press organiser, Fiona Millar, is feeling as the papers once again compare her client to the late Princess of Wales. Imagine having represented Rolls-Royce or Concorde for more than half a decade but still reading that the brand is seen as little better than the tarty, arriviste Porsche.
Yet the press has allowed itself to get overexcited by Cherie's trip to South America and her extra visits to an orphanage and a prison. These long-haul detours, added to an already packed itinerary, must (so goes the argument) have more to do with promoting Mrs Blair's "image" than her professional role as human rights expert and spokeswoman. Predictably, the Mail found a couple of free pages to devote to 15 photographs of Cherie and Diana - in poses that Quentin Letts describes as so similar as to be "disturbing". The shots in question show two women in the media eye caught on camera: hugging children, kissing celebrities, talking to the elderly and looking, umm, pensive. On this somewhat circumstantial evidence, Cherie Blair QC stands accused of desperately seeking to be "Wife of Hearts".
It is hard to tell which aspect of Mrs Blair's largely successful PR career irritates the misogynistic elements in the media more: her choice of legal causes that refuse to fall into either a pro- or anti-government pigeonhole; or her popularity with the "people", as she tops every poll including the all-important "most popular mum in the UK".
When Diana courted editors and journalists, she used her immense sexual attractiveness and flirtatiousness to win their affections. One tabloid editor told me that he still fantasises about the day she entered his office asking breathily for a "favour". She slid on to the leather sofa and crossed her long legs so that her short suit skirt rode up to her thighs a la Sharon Stone. He was putty in her hands and, lo and behold, Diana's rebirth as heroine of the people was confirmed.
The princess, however, started off from a position of weakness. She had been a victim, a casualty in the royal family's feud with modernity. She desperately needed front-page exposure in order to create a new role for herself. She needed these men.
Cherie Blair, meanwhile - QC, genius, domestic goddess, mother of four, and so on - never relies on charm or short skirts to get a headline. Intellect and sheer force of personality will do.
In her first interviews after her hubbie became leader of the Labour Party, she was described as "brusque" and "charmless". Unlike Diana, whose girly personality lent itself to the "what's your favourite food?" style of interview, Cherie, the busy mum and careerist, gave journalists very short shrift when asked whether Tony preferred chips or chorizo for his tea.
There is far less to the "Cherie is the new Diana" story than meets they eye. Cherie may know top-ranking celebrities and be a powerful ambassador for good, but the causes she has chosen as her own could hardly be more dissimilar to Diana's. But how irritating for a woman who took a First in law at the London School of Economics and came top in her Bar finals to be compared unfavourably to a blonde bombshell whose specialist subjects were (according to the royal website) "dancing and domestic science".
Diana had merits that Cherie lacks. She was an instinctive winner of hearts and minds who was totally at ease with glamorous living. When faced with a crippled child or an unhappy orphan, she would light up, instinctively scooping them into her arms and cuddling them with all her might. A tilt of the head, a touch, a giggle, all worked wonders. Even her public admissions of bulimia and depression and her tireless work for the very fashionable Aids cause resonated with a public well versed in Oprah-speak.
Cherie, on the other hand, has shown extreme discomfort with the over-the-top photo call and the touchy-feely "gesture". Only twice has she been caught showing any "real" emotion. The first time was the classic moment she clung to Tony's arm after his first big speech as leader of the Labour Party. More surprising was her reaction to the scenes she faced during a visit to Bosnian refugee camps - when, despite the flashing cameras and her determination not to patronise the sufferers, she burst into tears. But, don't be fooled, this will never, ever, happen again. A dewy-eyed princess Mrs Blair ain't - and can never be. Her emotions are permanently under control and she has no time for or belief in the "poor me" thing. She was brought up by a pragmatic mother who slogged in a chip shop to provide for her daughters, and by a grandmother who wouldn't hesitate to say "pull yourself together" at anything approaching self-pity.
But we, the Blairs' subjects, have a longing for a symbolic female figurehead, and if Mrs Blair is to obtain a permanent stronghold within our hearts then we need a frame of reference in which to place her. Lazy modern thinking dictates that Cherie must be "like" someone more famous, more instantly starry and recognisable. And that person is Madonna. Did you know that there are only four years between Madonna, the Princess of Pop, and Cherie, the Diva of Downing Street? They are both Catholic girls who started life in humble surroundings, and Madonna, like Cherie, was the eldest sister, and burdened with the early responsibility of running a household. Unlike the "thick as a plank" Diana, Madonna worked hard at school and was extremely motivated from a young age. She graduated from high school with a scholarship to study at university. With no family money to rely on, the self-made millionairess had arrived in New York City carrying one suitcase and $30 in her pockets.
It is our emotional response to these famous femmes, though, that gives them more in common than simply photos in the press and well-to-do friends.
Like that symbol of tough womanhood Madonna, Cherie Booth is "admired" "respected" and even "envied" by other women. We are intimidated, almost humiliated, by their no-nonsense image and limitless achievements, their endless drive and self-motivation.
This is just as well, because neither Madonna nor Cherie Blair particularly wants the public's pity or love. They have both slogged too hard, for too long, to rely on the fickle press and the fussy public for their self-esteem.
Those who compare Cherie to Diana are ignoring the patently obvious fact that we can't "feel" the same about these two women. If Cherie Blair had really wanted to become the "Queen of Hearts", by now the public - and, yes, even the Daily Mail - should feel they like or pity or empathise with her. On the contrary, even after a decade in the limelight and a triumphant (by any standards) handling of the media, you would be hard pushed to hear anyone say "Bless" or "I feel sorry for her" when looking at a picture of Cherie.
