First extracts from the film The Lord of the Rings were released. Ken Clarke's campaign to be Tory leader took up more column-inches

I have plenty of bland gamgee

under my broad belt. I wish to make

an ANNOUNCEMENT: we need to breed

a brand new party for Middle Earth.

Here is my pipeweed. Here is my beer

and also brandywine. I am red-cheeked,

bright-eyed, and appeal to the shires.

There are leathery soles beneath my big

boots, and I eat six meals a day. I told

Lady Gandalf to go. If we wish to defeat

the Orcs of New Mordor, then we need

a new ring of confidence. My precious.

I am a filthy hobbit, with mingus fingers.

There's bebop at Bag End, and rockets.

And what have I got in my pockets?

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