Tartan Day is 6 April. Not many people know that. Thing is, not many Scots know that. Tartan Day is an entirely American creation, which will be celebrated in Washington DC, New York and Chicago, but not in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen, or anywhere else in Scotland. It is about as genuine as that other American fiction, Brigadoon, the mystical, mythical vision of the Auld Country, with brawny lads and bonnie lasses singing about the heather on the hill and going home with Bonnie Jean.

This has not stopped Scotland's parliamentarians seizing on Tartan Day as a cultural, commercial and tourist oppor-tunity to be milked for every dollar it is worth. Not to mention the excuse for a transatlantic freebie for ministers and MSPs, with some political lowland games and tug-o'-war between the Scottish Executive and the Nationalists.

Somewhat to the embarrassment of Labour ministers, the highlight of the Scottish celebrations in Washington will be the high-profile presentation on Capitol Hill of the William Wallace Award from the American-Scottish Foundation - embarrassing because it will go to none other than Sir Sean Connery, the living icon of Scottish nationalism whose knighthood was blocked on petty political grounds by the late First Minister, Donald Dewar.

Senior Scottish National Party figures are making a special trip to join in the official round of parties that will celebrate Tartan Day. The event is the two-year-old brain "bairn" of the Senate majority leader, Trent Lott, a descendant of the Buchanans of Loch Lomond; the Act of Congress was co-sponsored by Newt Gingrich, then speaker of the house, who is really a member of the Clan McPherson.

To their shame, the vast majority of Scots who claim to be patriots will not be aware of the significance of the date chosen by the two US legislators: 6 April is the anniversary of the signing, in 1320, of the Declaration of Arbroath, when the Scottish barons wrote to the Pope in Rome asking him not to support the English invaders, but to recognise Robert the Bruce as their king: "So long as a hundred of us remain alive we are minded never a whit to bow beneath the yoke of the English. It is not for glory, riches or honours that we fight; it is for liberty alone, the liberty which no good man loses but with his life."

The declaration had a distinct echo in the American Declaration of Independence - not surprisingly, given that almost half of the signatories and the governors in nine of the original states were of Scottish descent.

When the Scottish Parliament debated a motion last week noting the impor- tance of Tartan Day "as a vehicle for strengthening economic, social and cultural links between our two countries", we had a preview of the po-faced, pseudo-Braveheart speeches that the SNP representatives will deliver in the States. No doubt the Americans will love them - just as they appear to love any form of tartanalia and Scottish kitsch. There are even Americans who watch the webcast of First Minister's Question Time in Arizona at 4am. Either they are Scottish super-exiles or there are some very sad people in Arizona. Or both.

Long lists have been prepared of Scots who contributed to America's history, from those who helped draft the US constitution (Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury, and John Paul Jones, the Scots pirate-admiral who founded the American navy), through Andrew Carnegie, Alexander Graham Bell and nine presidents with Scottish blood, to Colin Powell today - not only the first black American secretary of state, but also of Scots descent.

Should tartan have such prominence in a 21st-century celebration when recent efforts have been to shift the image from bagpipes and caber-tossers to Silicon Glen and Scotland as a financial centre and major player in the knowledge economy? And why do Americans recognise Tartan Day, while Scots do not mark any national day? St Patrick's Day is a worldwide celebration, Welshmen everywhere sport daffodils and eat leeks (or vice versa) on St David's Day, and the English do whatever Englishmen do on St George's Day.

Scots, however, virtually ignore St Andrew's Day. Perhaps the Presbyterian tradition is uncomfortable marking a saint's day and, as the Scottish Tory leader, David McLetchie, pointed out when it was suggested that the Scottish Parliament should shut down for the national day: "The last thing that people in Scotland need is a holiday in the middle of the week on a dreich day in November."

It may be that 6 April is an appropriately historic date for a celebration, but not "Tartan Day". Most Scots would not be seen dead wearing the kilt - with the exception of knock-kneed grooms forced into full Highland gear for posed wedding photographs. And there's always the worry about what to wear underneath . . .

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