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Sex and the Single Currency
Published 19 February 2001
The Hagues are sexier than the Blairs, according to a poll of under-25s. Electronic implants can trigger orgasms, a specialist has accidentally discovered
Oh wow, I am hot for a florin,
Or a flash of some old-fashioned sterling:
I fancy an E-Day
Like baths in a bidet.
A tanner can keep my toes curling.
I'm frisky for feet, not for metres;
A clinch needs an inch, or a shilling.
The euro, though handy,
Does not make me randy.
A rod, pole or perch is more thrilling.
Doctor Hague, this is vaguely exciting,
Repeat me that bushel-and-peck trick:
Your Emu, old Tony,
Doesn't tickle my yoni,
But my spine finds your pound-sign electric.
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