Focus groups say women voters don't like Blair's jeans; the Tories are targeting "pebble-dash people". The Popstars group (no name yet) will release their first single in the run-up to the election

We're young and fresh and simple

We're old and grey and charming

We're as pretty as a pimple

And our melodies are disarming

We sing in several voices

We tootle on brand new trumpets

We're the semi-people's choices

The unthinking person's crumpets

We're jumped-up, jokey, jazzy

We're the babes from Barnes and Bletchley

Our suits are clean and snazzy

We're the whizz-kids fresh from Sketchley

We're Monkees but less dreadful

And we always play the same set

We've got policies by the shedful

But they haven't got a name yet

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