And what, Labour backbenchers are asking with a quiet terror, if the re-disgraced Peter Mandelson makes a resignation speech, on the lines of Geoffrey Howe's coup de grace to Margaret Thatcher a decade ago? He has every right to do so, though he did not address the House on the occasion of his previous shaming. But then he was confident of returning and probably did not want to give the impression of his career being over.

This time, the temptation to take revenge on his treacherous leader may prove overpowering. He has already had a dress rehearsal in the Sunday Times that he obviously wrote himself, because, as Andrew Marr points out, the syntax falls apart when he is playing fast and loose with the truth. But the speech would probably be written by Mandy's pal Robert Harris, the writer of high-class thrillers and ex-journalist. Between them, with Mandy's bile and Harris's skill, they might just fatally wound the great helmsman.

It will be interesting to see how the PM answers a question put down by the dogged Liberal Democrat Norman Baker, inviting him to deny severance payments to ministers who lose office wholly or mainly through their own misconduct. Mandy stands to lose 12 grand.

John Reid, who will make an excellent Northern Ireland Secretary, has been in the habit of telling after-dinner audiences that, after a gay Ulster chief, Ian Paisley might have to put up with a Roman Catholic, not realising that he would be the one. And not only a devout Catholic, but a non-drinker to boot. Reid has been off the sauce for five years or more, though he was a fierce boy when he was on it, being the only MP to apologise to me after a particularly long conversation with John Barleycorn.

The sideways move of Peter Hain to the DTI as energy minister is more mysterious. But there may be something in the story brought back from South Africa by the Northern Ireland select committee, on tour there for the sunshine (sorry, that should read "to investigate truth and reconciliation"). They were told by British diplomats that Hain's perfectly sensible remarks about the ANC government's attitude towards Zimbabwe had infuriated the South African foreign minister, who denounced Hain's "intervention" in a long telegram to the FCO. So he had to go.

The Brown camp has maintained a majestic silence throughout Mandygate. It is not accidental. An edict went out banning any dancing on the grave of the newly disgraced ex-minister. In public, at any rate. No such reserve inhibited Peter Kilfoyle, the circumferential former defence minister, who, on hearing the news, executed a vigorous jig in Politico's bookshop.

Commons sketch writers thought that Ir'n Broon was suffering from a hangover when he answered Treasury Questions on the day after Mandelson's defenestration. In fact, he was recovering from the flu.

When William Hague came to lunch at the Parliamentary Press Gallery, the generally amiable atmosphere was rather spoiled by gorgeous - but, on this occasion, clouting rather than pouting - Amanda Platell. Hague was discomfited by a question from Rachel Ward, the young political correspondent of GMTV, about the absence of women and ethnic minorities from the list of Tory parliamentary hopefuls. After the meal, Platell upbraided her, "As a woman, you shouldn't have asked that question!" 'Scuse me, she was absolutely the right person to do so. More power to her arm.

Jack Straw was at his most authoritarian in the Commons gym the other day, according to one of my spies who range freely across Westminster. He turned up for a session of choreographed exercise on one of the cycling machines, and found they were all occupied. The Home Secretary stamped his little foot, and the instructor was obliged to dismount to give him a turn. However, the exchange was not recorded by civil servants, so the Home Office can deny that it ever took place.

Paul Routledge is the chief political commentator for the Mirror

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