"He did not have the normal focus and has been like that for a little while" - Downing Street on Peter Mandelson

His barking has been worse

than his bite. He has been up a gumtree

without a piddle, I would say

out of his tidy mind. Cocker

noodle doo. He is crackers

without the jack, as daft as a brush

in the hands of a hatter. He is

two pledges short of a manifesto,

stark staring bankers, up the wooden

stairs to Bedlam, with a loose

screw in his bonnet. Off his nuts,

with his head in the cloud cuckoos.

Out of sync, Colonel Blink, Magoo

who can't see for tofu. He's mad.

And Bobby is almost as bad.

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