A tantalising glimpse of a Scots Utopia
Published 11 December 2000
Citizen Tommy, clenched fist held aloft (after shooting the crisp white cuff under his trendy three-button suit), is the abiding image of the Scottish Parliament's swearing-in ceremony.
Revolution lives! So what if it is going nowhere? Socialism triumphs! Well, if one seat in 129 can be a triumph. The working-class warrior fights on! Even if his warpaint is an all-year suntan acquired at the council solarium.
Tommy Sheridan MSP, the leader of the Scottish Socialist Party, is one of the few figures in the parliament who are held in general affection. The place would be duller without him. He is the Jiminy Cricket of Scottish politics, the tiny conscience who is sometimes heard.
He is the handsome (so I am told) face of romantic socialism and the most flamboyant of gesture politicians. His answering machine says: "I'm probably out fighting Blair's new Tories." He is currently awaiting return to jail for non- payment of a fine for demonstrating at the nuclear submarine base on the Clyde. If it happened over Christmas, it would suit him down to the ground, because he could extract the last milligram of pathos.
What makes Citizen Tommy a loveable loon is that he is no threat to anyone. Or is he?
Sheridan and his party are into "what if?" politics. What if enough Scots are sickened enough by new Labour to vote in a sizeable handful of real socialists? What if there is a hung parliament and they could form a coalition with the Scottish National Party? What if Scotland win the World Cup in the year the Caledonian space project puts a kiltie on Mars?
Even if they are the modern equivalent of Denis Healey's "socialism wandering in cloud-cuckoo-land", Sheridan and his party could get a real debate going about the future of socialism and Scotland. An attempt is made with Imagine: a socialist vision for the 21st century (Rebel Inc, £7.99) by Sheridan and Alan McCombes, the editor of the Scottish Socialist Voice. It comes complete with an endorsement by Tony Benn as "one of the very best books I have ever read on the subject of socialism".
This bitter recall of every injustice inflicted on the Scottish working class, a compendium of left-wing cliche and invective, topped with lashings of idealism, offers just a glimpse of what life would be like in the Trotskyist Independent Socialist Republic of Scotland, aka Utopia.
It would not be Utopia without a struggle, however. One chapter neurotically discusses the possible backlash against the Scottish republic: "Would there be air strikes launched against Scotland by hostile foreign governments? Would a latter-day Edward I lead an invasion force north across the border to re-establish the rule of capitalism in Scotland? Or would the election of a socialist government in Scotland provoke a right-wing military revolt from within?"
Luckily, they conclude, none of these is likely to happen in the face of an upsurge of mass popular support for socialism: "It's one thing for western governments to launch air strikes against dictators in Baghdad or Belgrade; it would be a different matter entirely to attempt to militarily crush a democratically elected socialist government in Scotland." Phew!
Industry would be community-owned, workers would make what they want and decide prices, profit margins, wages and working hours. There would be no centralised planning, so distribution, marketing, and supply and demand would have to take care of themselves. However, small-scale enterprises such as ice-cream vans, takeaways and taxis would be private, so our fish suppers and chow meins are safe.
Scotland's financial institutions would be brought into the public sector, but how the flight of £300bn of capital would be prevented, in the days of instant international electronic transfer, is left floating in cyberspace.
Household chores would be split fifty-fifty between the sexes. Tell that to your macho Scottish male, who wants his shirt ironed and his tea on the table!
Sheridan and McCombes shrug off the all too obvious criticism by quoting Oscar Wilde: "Show me a map without Utopia and I'll show you a map that's not worth looking at." They have no truck with the "language of priorities", otherwise known as living in the real world.
In the real Scotland, the Scottish Socialist Party could have more than mere entertainment value. If a couple more members were elected under proportional representation, they could introduce some passion into the parliament's pasteurised politics. They could even achieve worthwhile reforms, as Sheridan has done by inflicting a defeat on the Scottish Executive with his bill to end the barbaric legal practice of warrant sales (whereby the sheriff's court can order the seizure and immediate sale of furniture and other personal effects to pay off debt).
This month's System Three poll shows the Scottish Socialists bumping along on 3 per cent on the first vote for Holyrood, and 4 per cent on the second vote, which would give them two seats. In the current Falkirk West by-election, the party is a nuisance presence, but there is little danger that it will dent Labour's majority enough to give the Nationalists a chance.
The Scottish Socialists did not help their campaign launch by wearing Santa Claus hats with the message that anyone who sends another Labour MP to Westminster must believe in Father Christmas. When their candidate, Iain Hunter, appeared on national TV in his T-shirt and red cap, he raised another question: would you vote for one of Santa's elves?
Sheridan and McCombes take the title of their book from the John Lennon song and hopefully quote the line: "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." In Scotland, as elsewhere, dreamers don't vote. Rock on, Tommy . . .
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