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Perfectly Inoffensive
Published 07 August 2000
Christening pictures of Leo were described by Downing Street as "perfectly inoffensive", although Tony Blair used them as a basis for complaint to the PCC
I'm perfectly inoffensive
I'm nicer than strawberry pie
I'm frank, I'm honest and pensive
Don't bloody spit in my eye
I'm perfectly inoffensive
My policies smell like Chanel
My knowledge is comprehensive
Stop bloody ringing my bell
I'm perfectly inoffensive
I'm all things to centre and right
I'm prudently inexpensive
Are you looking to bloody well fight?
I'm perfectly inoffensive
Available always (well, maybe)
My gestures are calm and extensive
You bastards, I've just dropped the baby
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