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Hardballs

Bill Greenwell

Published 10 July 2000

William Hague suggested compulsory school uniform. Tony Blair suggested arresting "louts", taking them to cashpoints and fining them £100 on the spot

When his head looks like a spud

We should stick it in a jacket

Nip his knackers in the bud

And then confiscate his packet

Take him down the local Link

In a bow-tie and a blazer

Give him decent milk to drink

And then confiscate his razor

Politicians of today

Need arresting at the flashpoint

If they've nothing much to say

March them to the nearest cashpoint

If their policy's grotesque

And their brains are made of butter

You should chain them to the desk

Writing out I AM A NUTTER

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