MPs are trooping into Downing Street two by two for a pep talk from the Prime Minister. He must be rattled. Backbenchers certainly are. The latest opinion polls have put the fear of Blair up them. Yet the Great Helmsman ploughs serenely on, indifferent to siren voices such as the Bristol MP Roger Berry, who was among the first to be invited to No 10. Dr Berry, a former economics don, gave Blair some facts and figures about pensioners who are losing out because of the maze of benefits. Blair simply ignored what Berry said, and parroted the party line about having spent more than the Tories would have.
Mind you, he is only taking his cue from his ministers. Too many of them have stopped bothering to reply to MPs' letters. Harold Best (Leeds North-West) wrote to David Blunkett asking how Ofsted could "fail" a primary in his constituency when it had come in the top 5 per cent in the school league tables. For six weeks, he waited for an answer. Then he got an offensive letter, not from the Secretary of State, but from the chief inspector of schools, Chris Woodhead, whose manners would never survive an Ofsted inspection. Even Blunkett had to admit that this was out of order.
The strong sexual undertone to the WI drama in Wembley went virtually unreported. Tony Blair made one joke too many about WI ladies posing nude for charity calendars. "I may not be casually dressed, but at least I am dressed," he jibed. Not to be outdone, the chair, Helen Carey, inviting him to start up a new website, said: "I believe you can press all the buttons!"
A row has broken out over who wrote the speech. Alastair Campbell disclaims responsibility. We cannot blame arch-moderniser Philip Gould, because he sent a 4,000-word minute to the PM begging him not to deliver the draft he had seen. The word now being put about is that it was the handiwork of the great undisgraced himself, Peter Mandelson. Maybe he was told that Blair was appearing before the Mothers' Union, which he imagined was an old Labour outfit plotting a strike for maternity leave.
While standing on the pavement outside the Treasury with Comrade Charlie Whelan, who should swish by and insist on giving us a lift to Soho but gorgeous, pouting Amanda Platell, in her top-of-the-range (as they say) sports car. First time I've been taken for a ride by the Tories in years. Her boss, William Hague, is doing well out of his "keep the pound" campaign. I forgive Amanda for failing to point out that her native Australia gave up pounds for dollars years ago.
Reports reach me that Andrew Smith, the ultra-cautious Financial Secretary to the Treasury, was a long-haired raver when he was up at St John's, Oxford. Also, that he has an obscure middle name, which no one could pronounce, and so got the nickname "Hideous". It does not appear in the reference books. A prize for the first correct informant.
Just to keep Andrew Marr, the Beeb's new £150,000-a-year political commentator, on his toes, it is necessary to tell you that he has decided not to work out of Westminster as his predecessor Robin Oakley did, but from 4 Millbank, where the massed ranks of the BBC political department are accommodated. That way, at least, he won't have to meet too many politicians.
To the Langham Hilton for a farewell bash for Ken Cameron, the retiring general secretary of the Fire Brigades Union. A good number of MPs turned up, whose identities must be protected against the Millbank thought police. Except one: Jim Fitzpatrick, a former member of the FBU executive and chairman of the London Labour Party, whose handling of the party's mayoral vote went so disastrously wrong. "Everyone welcome - including you, Jim," said Cameron. If I were "Fixpatrick", I'd worry about retaining the chairmanship come the autumn.
The writer is chief political commentator for the Mirror
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