A confidential document, inviting bids from public relations agencies to put the Tory case in the run-up to the general election, offers some fascinating sidelights. To begin with, it tells us who runs the show: the seven samurai. In talks with leading agencies, Conservative Central Office fielded the party chairman, Michael Ancram, together with Nick Rye (director of research); David Prior, MP and son of Lord Sunny Jim, billed as chief executive officer; Sebastian - now Lord - Coe, a failed MP and now head of William Hague's office (as well as sharing a judo mat with him); gorgeous, pouting Amanda Platell, head of media; Andrew Lansley, bright young arriviste MP and head of policy development; and somebody named Michael Lockett, described as a communications consultant. Ancram apart, this is scarcely the first eleven.
Rick Nye, who sounds like a fake-name Sixties singer, sent out a briefing note that virtually concedes the next election to Tony Blair without a shot being fired. Present polling, it admitted, suggests an "out-turn" virtually identical to 1997. And what is the grand strategy? "We need to win back the Daily Mail and the Times, alongside the Daily Telegraph, and to neutralise the Sun by the time of the next election." The defection of the Daily Mail must have passed me by, and the idea of "neutralising" the Sun is, well, interesting.
Still, the Tories plan a big campaign to give us "permission to believe" they can win. If I were William Hague, I'd find other work for Nye. He asked the agencies to explain "the process by which you might develop your creative conceptualisation and execution of these communication issues". Conceptualisation: just the stuff to get the voters out.
Overheard in the Strangers' Bar: Peter Kilfoyle, the Cabinet Office minister who quit over the government's direction, declaiming that the party should drop the "new" before "Labour". How long, he pondered, could it continue to be new? After five years, the slogan is getting a bit threadbare. Since it was stolen from advertising, maybe we can go back there for inspiration. How about Original Formula Labour? Modern Labour? Or Labour Now With Added Cronies! Up to the light, shining bright! Up to the nose; sweet as a rose! Suggestions for a new name to this column, please. The winner gets an Easter prize.
Alastair Campbell has said he will stand down as press secretary to Tony Blair before the general election. He must do this to free himself from Civil Service restrictions on active politics. Once the landslide is in, he could resume his role as Downing Street puppet-master. But, older hands are asking, will this sabbatical from his £96,000-a-year post constitute a break in service? This would materially affect his pension. Unless the great helmsman makes it up to him some other way. Ali's memoirs will command upwards of half a million pounds, and he may depend on being Baron Burnley.
The Liberal Democrats have got it into their heads that they can win the Romsey by-election on 4 May. I deduce this from the presence in the constituency of party poll guru Chris (nowadays Lord) Rennard. He strives mightily to avoid being associated with defeat, and being pictured with the candidate, Sandra Gidley, is the most convincing sign of his confidence. Charlie Kennedy is also staking his reputation. He's been there twice already and cancelled a pre-Easter "shadow cabinet" with instructions to frontbenchers to go to Romsey and prepare for victory.
Ken Livingstone's suitably playground slogan, Ken4London, is being altered by Frank Dobson's graffiti fusiliers to Ken4London0. The more important point, though, is whether Ken will give up his Commons seat, Brent East, when he becomes London mayor. Under Labour Party rules, he would be obliged to stand down. Under the rules of his own Gang of One party, he is free to stay. But vengeful Millbank officials are already on the lookout for a new candidate.
The writer is chief political commentator for the Mirror
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