The success of the BBC political correspondent John Sergeant in landing the plum £140,000-a-year job of ITN political editor brings joy to fat, self-regarding 55-year-old Quasimodos everywhere, including me. But the Beeb is in a lather about his replacement. The front contender inside the corporation is John Pienaar, the haystack-sized South African, closely followed by Nick Robinson, the presenter of News 24's Straight Talk and former Tory apparatchik. Nick Jones, author of books on spin- doctors, would be perfect, but he is regarded as too off-message.
So BBC chiefs are thinking of going outside, as they did when appointing Sergeant's boss, Robin OakIey. Meanwhile, Sargey must go on gardening leave until April so that he has no access to the Beeb's computer system. As if they had anything to hide. At least, his workmates will be spared the embarrassment of Sergeant wandering round the office bleating: "This is the first time anyone has headhunted me."
I can reveal that the whole business of Cherie Booth taking the government headed by her husband to the European Court is an expensive sham. As has been reported, she will appear for the TUC, which seeks a ruling that Tony Blair, blinded by his love-affair with employers, failed to implement properly the EU directive on parental leave by excluding all parents whose children were born before a cut-off date last year. But ministers privately told union chiefs that they really wanted to fulfil their duty to dads and mums. Their nerve failed in the face of a bosses' revolt. "Why not take us to court?" they asked disbelieving Congress House chiefs. "And when we lose, as we undoubtedly will, we can say it's Europe making us toe the line." Usefully, the ruling will not come before the election. As an exercise in pusillanimity, this is a first, even for new Labour.
Entertainment at the London Mayor Show comes thicker and faster. The latest turn comes from Clive Soley, chairman of the Parliamentary Labour Party and nodding donkey for Downing Street. He has written to party members, pointing out the importance of the ballot for Labour candidates. "I therefore want you to know my views," he continues loftily. I defy anybody not to laugh out loud at his considered view: "I know that people think this matter could have been handled better . . . " Small wonder that there are grumblings in the ranks about Mr Understatement. His PLP position comes up for re-election soon, and back-benchers are looking for a challenger.
Mind you, Nemesis may overtake Dobbo. David Wilkinson, acting regional director of the party, has reassured Livingstoneites that each candidate will have to justify his or her campaign expenses to the National Executive. "It is subject to a maximum of £1 per member of the Labour Party," he writes to an Islington councillor. "It will be my responsibility to receive the return and hold it available for inspection." On a £1-per-member basis, total spending is limited to £32,000. By my reckoning, the Dobson camp has spent more than that on postage already, not to mention the hiring of staff, equipment and offices, plus the cost of celebrity endorsements (T Blair and so on). It will be interesting to see how much of the spending is off-loaded to luvvies. They bore the brunt of Blair's £79,000 campaign to secure the leadership in 1994. You may find them now on the red leather benches of the Lords.
The hounding of Jane Griffiths, Russian-speaking MP for Reading East and former GCHQ operative, is mystifying. Plainly, new Labour's hard hats are out to do her in. Every detail of her private and financial life is being made available to the press, including some fanciful and untrue material. Now, we learn that Martin Salter, the Jamie Shea look-and-sound-alike Blairite MP for Reading West, has moved out of the office they once shared at Westminster. Surely the two events cannot be related.
The writer is chief political commentator for the "Mirror"
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