New Statesman Scotland

Bowls - violence has to be eliminated. Shortly after Grassroots revealed the case of 70-year-old Jack Parker being banned for butting his opponent came the Ian Schuback-David Gourlay incident at the BUPA Care Homes Open. After a disagreement on the rink Schuback, a former Aussie Rules footballer, said if he had been back home he would have invited Gourlay out to the car park. Pretty safe to assume that Schuback's concern was not about vehicle alignments . . .

Rugby - is there another Bill Maclaren out there to take over the great man's mantle? His oft-quoted "It's long enough, it's hard enough and it's straight enough" does not, as is sometimes thought, refer to the secret of a happy Hawick marriage but, in fact, to a Gavin Hastings conversion. Speaking of whom, if his brisk walking has impressed, what about 86-year-old Jim Grimwade, who recently walked 12 miles in two and a quarter hours? Eat your heart out, Gav!

Football - will women get involved at the top level? MarIa Teresa Rivero is no simpering senorita. Having fought her way to be chairwoman of Rayo Vallecano in the man's world of Spanish football, she now has her team sitting proudly above their more celebrated neighbours Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid. And shall we ever see a more gloriously entitled team than the Glenbuck Cherrypickers, which gave us the incomparable Bill Shankly? Less famous but equally unforgettable was their one-time midfield of Bush Menzies, Push Menzies and Biscuit Blyth.

Golf - it's sometimes thought it needs a lighter touch. Yvonne Robb certainly did her bit by running on to the green at Carnoustie at the Open in bra and pants, hugging Tiger Woods who thanked her, and rounding it off with a dance before an engagement with the police. Friends had dared her £100. At Arbroath Sheriff Court, a fine of £100 was imposed. Almost restores your faith in British justice.

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