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This England

Published 06 December 1999

I go so far as to say it is not impossible that one day our Queen could be Empress of Europe - Yorkshire Evening Post

A retired Army officer watched a group of unwashed, straggly-haired beatniks - one of them drinking beer from a jerry-can - and said: "It's like having the Congo on your doorstep." - Scottish Daily Mail

The policewoman said she asked the girl - before the court as being beyond parental control - to remove her sweater. On one arm she saw tattoo marks and on the upper part of the girl's body, printed in ink, were the words "Mild" and "Bitter". - News of the World

I recently found in my son's jacket evidence that he must consort with women. It was a terrible blow. It's worse because I can't talk of it to anyone - neither his father nor himself. I wouldn't mind so much if he was engaged; it would be wrong but understandable. This is just vice. - Letter in "Woman"

Your front-page article about Africans being shot made me feel sick. Could not this kind of story be condensed and made more pleasant? - Letter in "Daily Mirror"

People who persistently go to sleep in the reading room and browsers who lie down on the floor of Widnes public library will face a £5 penalty under new by-laws. Accidental cat-nappers and short-sighted readers who have to lie down to read titles on the bottom shelves will not be prosecuted, says a library official. - Daily Express

When my husband reads in bed on warm nights he puts a collander over his head. He says it keeps off the flies, shades his eyes from the light and lets in air at the same time. - Letter in "Woman's Realm"

A radio discussion about censorship has been censored by the BBC. Officials decided that the subject was too controversial. - The Sun

"If he [Mr Wilson] does sound the bugle it will not be an advance, it will be a retreat, a strategic withdrawal before the moment of truth arrives when all the economic chickens come home to roost." - Quintin Hogg, quoted in the "Observer"

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