New Statesman Scotland
Duncan McMillan, goalkeeper for Brora Rangers in the Highland League, achieved a certain distinction recently in a match against Inverness Clachnacuddin. Having been ordered off for violent conduct, instead of walking, Duncan had something of a tantrum. He took off his gloves and threw them at the referee, Eric Robertson. Red card number two. To round off an astonishing performance and confident in the belief that he had another red card in him, Duncan then removed his jersey and also threw that at Mr Robertson.
Red card number three. Definitely not a case of third time lucky. Nor was it the case either for the disgraced Canadian sprinter, Ben Johnson, who recently failed a drug test for the third time. Johnson has been training in a comeback bid for the Sydney Olympics in 2000. At any rate he was, until the knock came on his door, even though his agent said it was all a misunderstanding. Echoes of the Scottish footballer Willie Johnston's failed drug test at the World Cup in Argentina in 1978. The irrepressible Scotland manager, Ally MacLeod, told how, once the offending substances had been identified, a whole bagful was thrown into a field full of cows. On passing by the same field a couple of hours later, according to Ally, the cows appeared to be transformed - no longer sedately chewing the cud but whooping it up in grand style and trying to do the Highland fling.
"Get yourself a pair of specs ref!" is a common exhortation at football grounds up and down the country. Sometimes it is accompanied by colourful expletives querying the referee's parentage. No one is particularly bothered by such remarks. But it seems they are at Hibernian FC. At a recent league game there, the top Scots referee Hugh Dallas was running the line when he heard the familiar shout about the ref needing specs. He was puzzled, as it sounded like the voice of a young girl very close to him. On peering round into the gloom, he identified the source as a young ballgirl. This regrettable lapse on her part was brought to the attention of Hibs officials, who promptly sacked the 15 year old.
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