New Statesman Scotland
In the midst of the partisan passion swirling around the Millennium Stadium, Murrayfield and Twickenham at this year's rugby World Cup is the man who makes it all possible. The referee is the sole judge of fact, the controller of the laws of the game. Generally the worst he can suffer is abuse and derision - and a few adverse comments from the stands as well. He is the one player who returns to the dressing-room with his kit in pristine condition and only his ego bruised.
However, in the nether regions of rugby, matters can be very different. In a recent and titanic encounter between Irvine and Whitecraigs, both teams demonstrated spontaneous and unqualified sympathy for the referee. Unable to get out of the way in time, the ref found himself sandwiched between a tackler and the man with the ball. As he crashed to the ground the note of his whistle declined sharply from a loud blast to a muffled peep.
Fearing that he had swallowed his whistle and casting aside all unworthy thoughts that it was the best place for it, both teams ran to the referee's aid. Much to everyone's relief, not least the erstwhile whistler, the whistle quickly reappeared, but unfortunately another injury was sustained. In addition to getting his shorts dirty, the ref also damaged his back in the tackle; he was pronounced unfit to continue and the game was abandoned.
The lesson for rugby World Cup referees is clear: keep your mouth shut while being tackled.
"Kenny Dalglish walks on water" they used to sing on the Anfield Kop. Some actually believed it. In the case of Steve Holard, seeing is believing. He caused a splash when he took his amphibious bicycle to Loch Lomond. Local residents watched open-mouthed as Holard appeared to cycle on the surface of the water. But there was more to it than met the eye. The bike is set on a frame with two large floats and a cunningly concealed propeller which enables it to sit slightly above the water and be pedalled normally. Holard is cycling to John o'Groats to raise funds for charity and is scheduled to pedal up Loch Ness. Perhaps he'll get a push.
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