New Statesman Scotland
Lady Dunmore has been the Scotch Malt Whisky Society's agony aunt for many years. The Countess tenders advice on all social matters and also those relating specifically to the gold stuff. Her authority and good plain common sense have been an asset. She has written two bestselling books, Sex on the Golf Course and Sex at the Party Conference. She also devised Baxter's most popular crisps "Salt 'n Malt". It was well known that the noblewoman was working hard to pay her children's school fees as she had been widowed young.
Sadly this entertaining fiction was brought to an abrupt end when a real Lord Dunmore popped up, entirely unscripted, with two real Lady Dunmores in his household. He has taken grave exception to their name being used by the SMWS. A flutter of legal missives has forced the early retirement of Lady Dunmore from her writing duties. However, her replacement is adopting the style "Lady Dunless". Developments are awaited.
Sunday Herald
Peebles Boy Conkers Handicap. Andrew Henderson, 21, of Cademuir Drive, Peebles, has conkered a lifetime impediment. Andrew suffers from dislexia but has just graduated with homours from Robert Gordon University in Aberdeen. His parents Dixie and David Henderson say they are very proud of his achievement. "This proves you do not have to be able to read to get a degree," said his father, who works for Tweeddale Council.
The Peeblesshire News
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