It's an absolute bloody disaster

The end of the world must be nigh

The servant is fleecing the master

The fountain of life has run dry

The bandwagon's rolled to a standstill

The honeymoon's curdled and cold

There are pits where there should have been landfill

Our whole bloody project's on hold

The sun will collide with the planets

The ship will go down with the plague

We've fed all our livers to gannets

And fallen in thraldom to Hague

Oh God! we've been trounced by the turnout!

The faithful will cause a furore!

It all spells a meltdown and burn-out!

Almost ten per cent went to vote Tory!