No 3561 Set by Margaret Rogers
Haikus, limericks, clerihews - we asked for terse verse on the euro.
Report by Ms de Meaner
Blimey! The number of you who rhymed euro with Truro. In the end I only allowed one through the net, keen as I am to keep the comp pages fresh and sparkling. As usual, requests for shorties enlarges the postbag at least threefold, with lots of unknown names, so it's been a hard day's judging. However, I was interested to learn a new fact: a euro is a synonym for a wallaroo, a large kangaroo. So, not only do we have to take notice of a flightless Australian bird, but a marsupial as well. Spooky. The winners this week can have a fiver each, except those who got two in, who can double that. The champagne goes to Nicholas Hodgson.
An Italian trillionaire
Said: "The euro exchange rate's unfair:
Despite the omission
Of banker's commission
I'm now just a millionaire."
Adieu to the centime and franc!
Gute Nacht to the great Bundesbank!
But the £ and the p
Will continue to be,
For our fivers must never be cinq.
Nick MacKinnon
Have we missed the boat
By declining to travel
Or escaped sinking?
Chas F Garvey
The currency known as the euro
Is valid from Oder to Douro,
But it gets on the tits
Of those damned little Brits
Who reject it from Thurso to Truro.
Tony Black
Team of eleven,
All set for victory, while
Britain's on the bench.
Eric Swainson
Draw a letter c;
Add two horizontal lines.
A currency's born.
At great cost and with labour intense,
It's arrived, and the joy is immense;
Well, it may be abroad,
But in Britain we're bored:
All that fuss over 70 pence.
Nicholas Hodgson
The first eleven
Sowed their seed while Tony Blair
Spilt his on the ground.
Gordon Gwilliams
But what will happen
To old hoards of small change
Kept for the next trip?
D A Prince
Euro euro euro your boat
Gently down the stream
Clinkily clinkily tinkily tinkily
Money-making scheme
Will Bellenger
The euro is born.
No coins issued. Was it a
Phantom pregnancy?
R J Pickles
November the fifth:
"A euro for the Guy, please!"
Cry the street urchins.
Ron Rubin
No 3564 Set by Di Vorce
Last week we were reading all the salacious details about the small red-headed man who did the walking out. This week, it's the women's turn. "How much will Jerry Hall collect from Mick Jagger and will it exceed the sum Rachel Hunter will prise from Rod Stewart?" wonders the Daily Mail. "Is Mr Jagger's womanising," asks the Mail, "worth more than Mr Stewart's alleged laddishness?" (Indeed, the paper believes this is all so fascinating for "young girls" that it "ought to be included as an optional study course".) We know the government has strong views on promoting and preserving marriage. We'd like you to send in dialogue between any well-known estranged couple (historical or contemporary) and their marriage guidance counsellor. Two hundred words maximum and entries to be in by 4 February.
E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk
